kyvult

happy valentiney

2012-02-15T01:36:00.001-05:00

2012-01-20T23:39:00.004-05:00

I get this alllll the time......

stop the whole world

2012-01-15T23:29:00.006-05:00

house i grew up in and i go to frequently to THINK and GETAWAY.

have so many updates coming up! until then i am keeping up with my tumblr. I love tumblr, what a great invention. I am all for it!

i'm really into candles , lingerie, and being a better person. changing my style. have darker longer hair.

making better choices and doing the right thing and moving on and all that great stuff. i have matured a great deal and feel more alive and inspired than ever.

slow down. turn off your phone turn off your computer, put on an album, turn off the lights, lay on your bedroom floor, and listen to the whole thing. slow your life down! too much info, too many things to do and look at and experience. slow it down and pick a couple things this year. take more pictures, tell the people you love how important they are to you. let go of the cool police in your life. do what you want. follow your heart and be smart about it. xoxoxoxo happy new year. update soon.

2011-11-15T00:19:00.000-05:00

makaroni

2011-11-08T20:25:00.002-05:00

fun dancey band from chile!!! 2 views on their channel?

Skills

2011-10-23T23:30:00.006-04:00

When I went to AK I learned how to shoot a gun from a very handsome man in the United States army. (Just trap shooting.)

tumblin

2011-10-01T23:47:00.002-04:00

I have a tumblr here: Interesting Results

I just post pictures. Pictures of pretty stuff, cool stuff, cool people, pretty people, and ugly people.

STEPPIN' OUT

2011-08-24T21:35:00.004-04:00

Matching watches

Lovers for days

Reading poetry hanging upside down in hotel rooms

Stacks of books piled, surrounded by papers

Ideas sort of people

Smoking cigarettes around cafes

Listening to pre-recorded theme radio nights by Dylan in the early morning by the lake

Wearing his boots around a pool side, hanging from the bench and talking in Welsh accents

Travellin' with my dearest friend next year maybe, if I have no tie-downs

I discovered a genius. Mark my words, you'll be hearing about this gentleman once he's got records. I'm completely blown and have never been so. I'll recruit to Toronto! My dearest friend! Been a wonderful, intense summer. I'm looking forward to it ending, to be honest. Bring on the autumn. I'd like to go back to the South soon. There are characters you don't find much up here. I miss the people, the friendlies, the food, the lack of pretension. The accents. The Mississippi River. The dirt n' grime. The history + aftermath. I want to say I love Toronto, in an effort to apprecaite the present, and to take pride in a place that I would say I come from I suppose, but I don't. It can be completely awful and terrifying. Part of its charm, perhaps. Regardless, I stick by it like a challenging but meaningful relationship.

Huge storm coming up. To the people I haven't seen in awhile, I miss you. I'm the same girl. Goodnight

July 9

2011-07-28T18:28:00.002-04:00

might try to go on some adventures again once ye ole sailors arrive in toronto if late enough in the summer . AYE.

really busy at work, and realizing how busy i actually am has left me a little stressed.... i am exhausted. i am going to bed at like 8:30pm tonight, get caught up on sleep for the weekend so i can handle my situation with poise and grace. looking forward to the beach this weekend and some outdoor adventures. have a bbq on saturday with my friends.

Saturday Night - SIttin Up In my Room

2011-07-14T00:03:00.006-04:00

Hi!

I'm having a fairly interesting suummer! I've been going away a lot. Spent the past couple of weekends in Michigan and here I am at home after being away for so long. I have travelled a lot in the past year . AK, NOLA, and a whole slew of places in between. I've had some good experiences. My dear friend D. is up in Michigan, he is an amazing musician from Southern Mississippi. He's skin and bones. One of the most interesting and inspiring people I have met in a long time and has been a great friend to me. He is currently living as a vagrant on a sailboat. Making his way for a visit.

I'm re-immersing myself in my studies particularly those concerning the Situationists and Welsh poets. Some Jorge Luis Borges. I am writing a lot. The same ol' gal.

I am very into B-52s self-titled album lately. Dance this mess around is such an amazing song. I'm also really into Karen Dalton, this radio show where Bob Dylan hosts, Lizzy Mercier Descloux, and Susan Christie . I like bracelets and jewellery and flowers in my hair. I like bowties on girls and fancy shoes. I'm gonna read the Bible.

Elemental

2011-05-23T17:32:00.002-04:00

Why don't people leave off being lovable

Or thinking they are lovable, or wanting to be lovable,

And be a bit elemental instead?

Since man is made up of the elements

Fire, and rain, and air, and live loam

And none of these is lovable

But elemental,

Man is lop-sided on the side of the angels.

I wish men would get back their balance among the elements

And be a bit more fiery, as incapable of telling lies

As fire is.

I wish they'd be true to their own variation, as water is,

Which goes through all the stages of steam and stream ad ice

Without losing its head.

I am sick of lovable people,

Somehow they are a lie.

DH Lawrence

YOUNG WORK

2011-05-23T17:28:00.002-04:00

"Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through."

NO HOUGH

2011-05-20T14:40:00.003-04:00

Have yall ever had gumbo, jumabalaya etc? Creole. I am really into it lately. I am trying to cook new different things lately and I need to get on the southern cooking. I prefer to eat a lot of vegan meals as well as brown rice and chicken. But food is about sharing with others. And Others love dem meat. Others love dem flavas. I want to be the old lady in the kitchen when I am 80 years old throwing in stuff in a pot and making something amazing that no one else can replicate. The secret recipes that are passed down in the family for years.

I got one rhubarb cake recipe that is a hit among friends, and friends of friends. I will post it on here soemtime. Rhubarb plants border our field and grasslands so we always had rhubarb everything and I just love it. Stewed rhubarb is also great. I find it difficult to find here.

What else. I will try to post some more. I am writing a lot too. Not so much music but little blips and short stories. I got all these speech and vocal intricacies and accents of interest. I am kinda busy but there is always time to dick around on the internet. I have some nice things to update about my life. New love in all sorts of hidden crevices. The rarest, rawest, most cherished kinds. I have felt so lucky to know all the people that I have and do, and to have lent and been lent the love that I have. You think it will end at some point, when you become an adult, or after a relationship, or after a life phase, but it never stops. If you think it has, then make the jump to correct whatever is causing you to feel this way. Everyone deserves to be loved and wanted and respected but you have to give that to yourself first. Yes yes yall.

I will post next about my fav beauty things maybe. I have the day off, I might go to the library. Peace out

2011-05-18T21:51:00.002-04:00

New-ish Music

2011-05-01T18:27:00.005-04:00

I am pleasantly surprised by the new Lykke Li album, Wounded Rhymes. I have been making muffins and cleaning while enjoying it a lot very muchly so extremely to the maximum. Some of the songs have a 60s girl group thing going on, the beats and harmonizing.

This video is okay, but I love 1:00-2:00, it is amazing, finalized nicely by the pit spit.

Cha cha cha.

Oh yeah while I'm at it, the new Masshysteri (s/t) which I know came out in 2010, is really amazing actually too. They are a punk band (I guess?) from Umea, Sweden. There are a lot of nice acoustic performances of their songs on youtube. I met Sara a looooong time ago backstage at an (International) Noise Conspiracy concert and she was really nice and talked to me about sushi. I would love to see them live. Someone should make it happen. Again. I think they already came here and maybe I missed the boat.

It's a gloomy Sunday and I'm off to get some work done.

2011-03-24T23:53:00.001-04:00

Ladies who stroll on terraces adjacent to the sea; baby girls and giantesses, superb blacks in the verdigris moss, jewels upright on the rich ground of groves and little thawed gardens, - young mothers and big sisters with eyes full of pilgrimages, sultanas, princesses tyrannical of costume and carriage, little foreign misses and young ladies gently unhappy.
What boredom, the hour of the “dear body” and “dear heart.”

2011-03-24T23:52:00.000-04:00

I swear by my life, and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.

2011-03-24T23:49:00.002-04:00

How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.

2011-03-24T23:49:00.001-04:00

If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never

2011-03-24T23:48:00.000-04:00

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they go right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart, so that better things can fall together

HANIN ELIAS

2011-03-03T01:43:00.003-05:00

lovin her post-ATR look

PUNKRUSH - DAVE GAHAN!!!!

2011-01-25T07:20:00.004-05:00

Not quite punk, butttt...

DAVE GAHAN!!! YES EVEN DAVE GAHAN!

I would marry Dave Gahan and make him dinner on a daily basis, so long as he promised to sing me Enjoy the Silence and/or Never Let Me Down Again every night. We would put on matching all-white outfits, watch American Idol featuring Jennifer Lopez and Aerosmith, take the dog on a walk, and have a perfect life together.

but I would marry any man who wrote this song.

i love patti

2011-01-11T01:48:00.003-05:00

0:30-1:30 lol i love her!!!
patti forever!!! she's so fuckin rad! crawl over that desk patters!

"SIMPLE DREAM FOR A GIRL LIKE YOU"

2011-01-06T23:14:00.001-05:00

I am heavy into this kind of shit lately. Dance dance dance.
I love some Glass Candy songs. I love this girl. Good lyricist.

Izzie

2011-01-04T15:46:00.000-05:00

NEW YRS RESOLUTION: SELL MYSELF TO GOD

2011-01-04T03:50:00.005-05:00

I love Patti Smith right now. I am reading Just Kids and that is why.

perertty amazing typing with one hand soorrryyy

2010-12-13T17:36:00.002-05:00

the first song they play is fuckin amazing!!!

the part with the street scenes... kinda reminds me of mika miko 's i got a lot video

not complaining

CLAWS N FANGS

2010-12-05T22:47:00.003-05:00

I figured how to do this recording in better quality just blips of things. It makes it sound better than it actually was by cutting out the mistakes!!!! I think i posted that earlier but the sound was all messed up.

entry soon!

SWEET TOOF PROBLEMS

2010-11-10T19:23:00.004-05:00

I think I am going to stop drinking. Not like I ever had a problem but I stopped for 2 months until my rooommates birthday recently and I feel so shitty for drinking cranvodkas. I was planning on only nursing one drink all night but her bf kept bringing me them! Nice of him but I dont want alcohol in my life right now. Maybe a glass of wine? You know what happens when you drink wine everynight? You get wine arms. Drunkenness on occasion? I will have to figure out my boundaries. I also stopped drinking coffee. I haven't had coffee in like two months. I had some bad health problems last month and stopped eating altogether. I had a bad back problem and then migraines everyday and a feeling like my brain was dripping blood inside itself. Lol I said that to the doctor and she looked at me like I was crazy. I have a bad bad bad problem with migraines and it is the worst because it makes me dizzy, nauseous, and feels like my brain is melting. I was pretty much just eating advils for dinner and staring at the wall. I get them so bad that I sometimes ralph and that takes a lot for me. I refuse to take valium. Just thought I would share that with the world. The world is reading this right now. But anyway I am feeling so much better since cutting out a lot of stuff that is generally bad for you, and yet strangely very socially acceptable, I feel better than I have in a long time! I would love to cut out sugar too. She said, as she baked an apple pie. IT is very hard. I hate being reliant on anything. Or anyone! So get out of my face!!!! Apple pie on your face!!

CANDY / HALLO-ween: DO WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE

2010-11-08T23:08:00.004-05:00

- DAWSON CITY
- ANCHORAGE
- MEADOW LAKE
- HATTIESBURG
- LOUISIANA

About to go to the store to get a Snickers bar. Watching Agora, rooting for the Pagans! Will they win? jk.
I recently saw the remake of NIGHT OF THE DEMONS. if you like freaky lesbian porn you should definitely watch it. eddie furlong is in it and boy oh boy, what has he done to himself?
I went to a haunted house at midnight in the middle of the woods. You start walk through the woods in pitch black, then some guy comes up behind you with a chainsaw. You run like hell on a path that leads you into a decrepit cabin smeared in fake blood. There you go through a maze, have people jump out at you, crawl into a dungeon. I screamed my head off! Best halloween.

Time for... candy
I like this song, I wish there was a little more to it though.

I dissed the vivian girls on this video on youtube and apparently my comment is starring on it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXZhdRqW8kY&p=B63E46EA9E9C1E13&playnext=1&index=7
I feel bad though, not like anyone cares, but mostly just about myself , but whatever I didnt liek their lame attitude. I usually dont diss bands number one because what's the fucking point? Whats the point of arguing over music? You like coldplay? Way to go. That is fantastic for you. There are a million wars going on in the world and whoopdeedoo, mom loves Mariah Carey. She also loves that Rita fat lady that has a special every Christmas. Great! You know? Fucking let your freak flag fly. You like the most obscure bands ever. Way to go, i know you actually like taylor swift and old bush x songs, but that is cool . And number two i dont like to talk shit because haters, where do they go? I'll tell you where, nowhere!!!

LISTEN if you want to put something out, you are an artist, a musician, whatever, just fuckin do it. You've got lovers who can do great things for you, and then you've got haters. There will always be lovers and haters for anything new . The only thing haters can do is talk smack, so what? Big whoop. So just go for it. Go for what you want in life!!!! Let the haters eat their own big whoopy smack. Then do great things for them. then go eat a snickers bar and wave the flag.

Pardon my swearing. I am trying to fuckin tone er down.

pop music i luv

2010-11-08T19:19:00.005-05:00

actually...

<3!!!

<3!!!

PRIVATE PEOPLE

2010-11-05T03:02:00.003-04:00

I love this poem.

Allegiances
It is time for all the heroes to go home
if they have any, time for all of us common ones
to locate ourselves by the real things
we live by.

Far to the north, or indeed in any direction,
strange mountains and creatures have always lurked-
elves, goblins, trolls, and spiders:-we
encounter them in dread and wonder,

But once we have tasted far streams, touched the gold,
found some limit beyond the waterfall,
a season changes, and we come back, changed
but safe, quiet, grateful.

Suppose an insane wind holds all the hills
while strange beliefs whine at the traveler's ears,
we ordinary beings can cling to the earth and love
where we are, sturdy for common things.

William Stafford

SALOME // BAD MOODS

2010-10-25T01:07:00.003-04:00

UNHH

2010-10-25T00:38:00.002-04:00

VINNY VINNY

2010-10-01T02:42:00.005-04:00

Wolves

2010-09-18T22:35:00.004-04:00

Noise song i made in 2005 called.. wolves.

Most sounds are my voice through different vocoders processed through a midi beat slicer . I didn't know how else to create a metallic reverby sound, and that is the longest, dumbest way ever to do it. But whatever. Also I recorded it without any backup on a frequency wayyy ttoo high so it kind of ruined it like your earphones are about to blow out . That is all.

SHAVED HEADS, QUIT SMOKING YOU LOSERS

2010-09-16T00:29:00.016-04:00

Hey dudes and dudettes

I love this song!!!!

JOHN I LOVE YOU:

makes me think of my friend john. this starts really slow but 2:00-3:00 is my favourite part. i wouldn't say i love sinead but i like her. i like the songs by her that are good.

she is also a hot babe i think, in this video. she looks totally uncomfortable though. hands in her pockets with her big lesbian leather jacket surrounded by all that flower shit. she looks so pissed off to be there. i love it.

this is a tribute to shaved heads. i've always wanted to fuckin shave my stupid hair off. i thought about shaving my head in solidarity with my grandma because she did when she started chemo . which i think is pretty cool of her to do. but no i guess i'm too vain. i havent mentioned it but my grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer this year and has been told she has a year to live. i dont deal well with this kind of stuff at all but we all try to find humour in the whole situation and make the best of it which has been making it better. i think the most difficult part is being strong for someone else when you are so close to someone in pain. i have lost a grandfather to lung cancer. my grandmother smoked for only a short time in her life.

i hope if you are a smoker that you consider quitting for reals. your lungs will not repair. don't be a stupid loser. you don't look cool and it's gross. your fingers get gross and i dont want your breath on me. seriously. i ahte to judge but when a young beautiful woman is walking down the street smoking i am thinking god, what a waste. right. what a total loser.and most of all i dont want you to suffer and be in pain because i love you. i love how this went from sinead o'connor to hoping you quit smoking because of how much i love you. today is the first day of the rest of your life?
bye.

PS

K one more sinead song. this is so sad but so beautiful!! huu! everyone can related to this puppy. drop a tear- it's friday. go ahead

I know you don't love me anymore
you used to hold my hand when the plane took off
two years ago there just seemed so much more
and I don't know what happened to our love

today's the day
our friendship has been stale
and we will meet later to finalise the details
two years ago the seed was planted
and since then you have taken me for granted

but this is the last day of our acquintance
I will meet you later in somebody's office
I'll talk but you won't listen to me
I know your answer already

SOPHISTICATED LEISURE

2010-09-04T15:45:00.007-04:00

Can I have those polka dot pants?

Last week Heidi gave me all these resources to use for some of the fashion programs.
I was digging through them graciously, mostly through the endless fabric samples. I took some time to take them apart and made quite a nice little bin of scraps. Also included in this pot of gold, however, were old style books from the early '90s. It was like Christmas. Whit and I were in total heaven and took some piccies.

That dress rules

Also, I came across the most awesome little kiddy animal print ever.

LA FILLE AVEC TOI

2010-09-02T01:20:00.002-04:00

I love this song. it touches my heart.

U-KWON

2010-08-30T19:02:00.000-04:00

I love tracking packages

2010-08-29T21:00:00.002-04:00

DESPERATION

2010-08-27T00:08:00.003-04:00

my best friend's grandfather died
so sad

LISZT ON LISIT

2010-08-24T23:21:00.004-04:00

This girl is amazing. Her name is Valentina Lisitsa. I think she is just chilling in her pjs here (and scrunchie? hello!). If you have any attention span whatsoever you should watch the whole thing. And if you don't, watch 4:10-5:00. She is a genius. This is her "covering" Liszt. I am kind of obsessed with her.

ALSOPP

2010-08-23T21:34:00.003-04:00

I came to work today, expecting to be greeted by my coworkers followed by the usual journey to the coffee place for a regular, iced, black. And instead this is what greeted me. That whole wall thing is usually not there. I was not aware that it was going to be up today but I guess Mark did it on the weekend. Holy moly, guacamole.

P.S. Our building was featured a few years ago on some sort of Ghost Hunters thing. Taps turning on and off, footsteps, clocks going bonkers, and the creepiest of all.. apparitions of a creature. A couple weeks ago I was up in the office area, it was about 7am so no one else was around. I had to go to my desk to grab something which means you have to travel all the way around the floor. I had the eeriest feeling ever just being in there. I ran away on my way out!

JACKETS

2010-08-20T23:13:00.001-04:00

I look like a lesbian in jean/leather jackets

Reading a lot about the history of food

2010-08-19T07:38:00.001-04:00

FVGAZI

2010-08-18T07:04:00.002-04:00

Fugazi Forever

FINCH

2010-08-16T17:17:00.000-04:00

Finch in Plevna

S'MORES IN MUSKOKA

2010-08-16T00:01:00.005-04:00

I had my first Muskoka experience this weekend. Muskoka generally met my expectations: kinda corporate, kinda yuppie, kinda too pristine in a false way. No offense. It's beautiful though. I'm not going to rain all over Muskoka. I'd just more quickly recommend Algonquin or Plevna. Cooler towns nearby too.
But the cottage we stayed in was beautiful. Nice fire place, reading room, cute little kitchen. They even had a fan there so I could sleep. The silence was something to get used to at first. I was thinking just a mere 2 day visit to a cottage would be kind of pointless but it wasn't. It was relaxing and I needed it. Back to work tomorrow at 8am.

Linkin Park 4 Eva

2010-08-05T23:13:00.002-04:00

I have a confession and it's that I love Linkin Park. They are fucking great!!!! How amazing would they be without that geeky rapper? I want to meet the singer (CHESTER) !

I just had pretty much the most interesting day of my life and here I am, talking about Linkin Park. I just need to get away guys. Linkin Park take me away!!!! I kind of have a weirdo crush on the singer. He's so troubled!!!

Bad music videos!!!

BIG WHOOP

2010-07-26T21:51:00.004-04:00

Amazing hiarious video from my fwend geneva

HOWL

2010-07-24T17:11:00.003-04:00

I was never a huge fan of Allen Ginsberg but I'm really looking forward to seeing this film when it comes out. Mostly for James Franco, I like him a lot.

.

yahz

2010-07-22T22:24:00.005-04:00

this is where i work
nice exhibit we have right now
come and i'll give u a tour

OL STANDBY

2010-07-21T18:54:00.003-04:00

Ivan , an intern that does some work for our program, was talking to me yesterday about how he ate bread dipped in tomato sauce for lunch and was trying to convince me how amazing it was. It reminded me of a meal I used to eat all the tiiime as a kid. Campbell's tomato soup with 4 soda crackers on top when it is piping hot.Just try it. Go to your local corner store now, it's 7pm, dinner time. Do it up. Grab a cream soda while you're at it. Treat yourself.

VAMOS A LA PLAYA, ZELEL, CHAIYYAA CHAIYYA

2010-07-16T00:08:00.003-04:00

BABANAAS

2010-07-12T01:26:00.005-04:00

Hey, want to get married and have a baby? Cuz this video makes me want to be the mother to a cute baby boy with long hair more than it makes me want to bake us banana bread. And who knows, maybe our friend in Kauai, where our summer home is located, will make us straws out of papaya stems. Adrock, may you please pass the coconut.

I got a couple good recipes from this lady. Time for bed!

- - - -

2010-07-10T14:43:00.007-04:00

G20.

2010-06-29T07:00:00.005-04:00

So a lot went down in this city over the weekend. I just wanted to say that I am a supporter of all of the demonstrations that have occurred in Toronto, including (where people often disagree with me) the militant tactics of the Black Bloc. I do respect everyone's informed belief systems but I am baffled at some of the closed-minded, ignorant opinions I have heard and seen this past week. Especially from some of my friends. Please don't expect me to write something formal here because, well, it's like 6:30am, but at least allow me to babble for a moment.

The G20 is a huge fucking deal. It's everyone's business, and it's everyone's business to have been there if they chose to do so. I found the breadth of public response really inspiring. These are issues that directly affect me, my family, my friends, employment, education, immigration, etc. Everything is political whether you are conscious of that or not. Any individual or media source that discusses political concern as a fleeting trend have corpses in their mouths. It is insulting to young people and unworthy of response. Public protest in its varied forms has been a driving force in important social movements that predate history. Historically both informal and formal networks, governmental and ngo, wealthy and poor, radical and conservative, young and old, "cool" and "uncool", and all in between, have served an important role in pushing things forward. It is complex, SERIOUS AND NECESSARY.

The G20 is obviously going to attract a wide spectrum of political affiliations, including those of the radical Left. Everyone knew there would be an attack on government and corporate property. For those frustrated with the violence of the Black Bloc... public protest is not always about the quest for legitimate power or legitimate institutionalized change. It is not always about following the law. It is not always about making a specific issue heard, and it is definitely not always about "creating a dialogue." This was all being planned for a long time. While there is obviously a "Let's fuck shit up" element to it, I believe that most people really care about what they are fighting for, are genuinely upset, and reacting to the state of the world. Building fences and turning the city into a police state, conducting ILLEGAL searches and raids, attacking peaceful protestors that are practicing their right to assemble is not exactly my idea of a welcoming dialogue either. Neither is instituting draconian laws that reflect DIRTY, corrupt and backward politics. THe police are their puppets. We owe you nothing. To the people who are upset about the broken windows and flaming cop cars and TAX dollars (really?)... You are crying over spilt milk. Get some perspective. Shame on the leaders, commanders, CRIMINALS (DISHONORABLE ACTIONS OF THE POLICE) that manipulated and undermined our basic rights this weekend. Support goes out to the peaceful protestors especially those who were searched, raided, injured, and arrested. Support to the hardworking NGOs whose issues and voices continue to be ignored. Everyone should be upset. I would like to express some more things but have to go to work now.

have a good day.

DREAMING WITH ALICE

2010-06-21T19:18:00.003-04:00

This is amazing. Have I heard of Mark Fry in the past and just forgot about it? I have never ever even heard of this before. Not to my recollection. My friend found it and told me about it. I also love the cover of Dreaming with Alice. He was pretty hot too.

TOMORROW IS A LONG TIME

2010-06-21T00:46:00.004-04:00

I'm intensely busy and I'm not used to it. My free time I prefer to be on my own. I listen to a lot of music. I like the work that I am doing. I am trying to be more creative again. Work being busy helps me stay focused. I need to stay very focused for the next few years. I am in love with too much. It is very distracting. Being a dreamer is hard sometimes. I look forward to spending time at the cottage this year. I am hoping my friends will be a little more mellow this year. I wish I could be more open about things here. I will one day.

This song is amazing. Judy Collins. The lyrics are amaizng. It is so sad it actually pains me to listen to it. It is just so amazing. Bob Dylan wrote this, and i Never realized until later. Funny beacuse I have been into bob lately. I am trying to learn more about of the guitar and using some of his songs to learn. I am working on one song and the harmonica is really hard. I have a newfound respect for any harmonica player. I tried to do a video but it goes all crazy fuzzy and distorted. I can't figure out what is going wrong there. It is late and I need to go to bed. I slept a lot this weekend. Ran into some nice people on Saturday night. Here is the song. I will post the lyrics below. It's nice of you to come here and read my entries.

f today was not an endless highway,
If tonight was not a crooked trail,
If tomorrow wasn't such a long time,
Then lonesome would mean nothing to you at all.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.
I can't see my reflection in the waters,
I can't speak the sounds that show no pain,
I can't hear the echo of my footsteps,
Or can't remember the sound of my own name.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.
There's beauty in the silver, singin' river,
There's beauty in the sunrise in the sky,
But none of these and nothing else can touch the beauty
That I remember in my true love's eyes.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.

2010-06-13T22:28:00.002-04:00

If only the times which have come and gone might come again!
- For Man is finished! Man has played all the parts!
In the broad daylight, wearied with breaking idols
He will revive, free of all his gods,
And, since he is of heaven, he will scan the heavens!
The Ideal, that eternal, invincible thought, which is
All; The living god within his fleshly clay,
Will rise, mount, burn beneath his brow!
An when you see him plumbing the whole horizon,
Despising old yokes, and free from all fear,
You will come and give him holy Redemption!
- Resplendent, radiant, from the bosom of the huge seas
You will rise up and give to the vast Universe
Infinite Love with its eternal smile!
The World will vibrate like an immense lyre
In the trembling of an infinite kiss!

- The World thirsts for love: you will come and slake its thirst.

2010-06-06T22:54:00.001-04:00

blip

2010-06-06T22:38:00.002-04:00

earlymorningjune.mp3

the dress

2010-06-06T18:00:00.002-04:00

2010-06-05T22:18:00.001-04:00

ZELEL

2010-06-05T03:30:00.006-04:00

I really want to go skeet /trap shooting this summer out at the cottage.
This kid is really fuckin good at it!!!! There is a hunting club and shooting range past the pond behind my childhood house so the sound of shotguns probably isn't as startling to me as it should be. By the way anyone that does not live in the city should have a shotgun for animals (at least to shoot in the air). It is common sense. Check out this kid though!

2010-06-04T00:46:00.001-04:00

dean martin singing

2010-06-02T23:50:00.002-04:00

blip

2010-06-02T00:39:00.001-04:00

quiret.mp3

THEY WANNA FEEL SOMETHIN

2010-05-31T15:05:00.008-04:00

I'm undergoing a very strange change in identity and a questioning of the things I had so readily desired in life. This has caused me to retreat and become unintentionally distant from many people. I am thankful for my loyal companions.

2010-05-21T23:33:00.003-04:00

Wow someone just told me Will Munro died. I never knew him, only met with him on a handful of occasions. I was so shy around him because, to me, he was the coolest guy in Toronto. Hands down. I don't mean for this to be a blog tribute thing or whatever or claim I lost someoen very important to me. Because I know he did a lot of important work for the community, a lot I don't know about. But I just wanted to express, rather pointlessly, that someone really fucking cool to me died and that really sucks. For what it's worth, my thoughts go out to anyone who had the privilege of being close with this man.

WORK

2010-05-19T20:56:00.003-04:00

love m'job

Somethin's better than Nothin'

2010-05-17T00:02:00.003-04:00

guitharmprac.mp3

STRANGE GARDENS

2010-05-14T18:06:00.003-04:00

I found this picture, someone put collagey stuff all over it but I like the image underneath.

What a rad day. Today I had an arts program bring in grade 7 "at risk" students and I gave them a little architectural design workshop. We walked through the exhibit together (mostly industrial design) and I gave my presentation thing about some of the pieces. The only prep work I do now is have some idea of what I want to convey with each piece and then I ask questions about what they think and then we have a conversation. Today we got to talking a lot about urban planning and psychogeography. How buildings and spaces affect and control what we experience and how. They seemed to have this concept built within them that time is money. Do not underestimate Grade 7s. They thanked me at the end by creating a dramatic tableau. It was crazy. Then this young girl came up to me later and told me I helped her find beauty in everyday things!! I almost cried. I thought it was rad too because when I was that young I felt really intimidated to talk to adults or well talk at all. Even now I find it takes me some guts to pull a stranger aside and tell them how their work inspired or affected me. The programmer wrote down my name and wants to request me next time. That makes me feel really good. I also had a lot of coffee. But I'm glad it's Friday to be honest, this week has been crazy. We are going to burrito boyzz and then going to see ROBIN HOOD. I hear it sucks.

I will update more next week probably as if anyone reads this but I dont care I DO IT FOR MYSELF. "The most important relationship you ahve is with yourself," said Diane Von Furstenberg to Whitney Port in the MTV series, "The City."
I haven't seen this film (looks creepy) but I really like this composer. Zbigniew Preisner. I think he's just some guy that writes film scores, I really have no clue, but I just really love a lot of his songs. I actually want to go through the movies he's written for and watch them all just for his music.I should email him: Hey Zbigny! I like your songs! Well, tata!

1:11-1;40 IS AMAZING

The actresses kind of annoy me in this. I'm getting into Opera lately though so that's good.
Time to go, bye!

INCA PRINCESS

2010-05-07T23:47:00.004-04:00

Here is some amazing footage of Yma Sumac the "Peruvian Soprano." Her voice is like crazy. I actually really like this as a video too.

These Days

2010-04-30T01:16:00.004-04:00

Hey. Well it had been months and months since I drank a drop of alcohol until last night on a date. I just haven't felt like it very much. And I've been hanging with a lot of friends lately, I guess. I typically keep a lot to myself and am not used to socializing so much.

Taught a design class yesterday to a really awesome group of grade 10s and 12s. I was in the mood to entertain. As a side note, and I know this has always been a thing, but I'm seeing it more and more-- combs in the hair. White girls are doing it too. Up-do with a comb left in the hair. Not a hair pick - a whole comb.

I don't know too much about this band but I do know that this song is fucking dope. His voice reminds me of the singer from TSOL, it's amazing and I"m clearly in deep love with him.

I have been really into experimenting with video and shit lately. I have a lot of ideas that I want to try to work out and meld together somehow. Equipment is a setback.
I'm going to some weird all you can eat breakfast thing with Marcie tomorrow, she has been wanting to go for a long time. She's awesome and I'm excited to see her. Goodnight

We're all sluts

2010-04-24T01:21:00.004-04:00

I have so so much work to do but I'm procrastinating so it's a quick update. Why do we procrastinate? It is self-sabotage. It stresses me out endlessly to procrastinate and yet I do it anyway. But anyway. I love the mellow-er Bad Brains jams these days. The ones about Jah, and loving Jah. Jah love. Also, this song makes me so so so happy. Anything with accordions! That's an accordion, right?

I feel pretty solid with who I am and what I'm about, but it can be scary when something or someone has the ability to completely shake everything. Sometimes it can be good. And other times, very destructive. I think recently I have been going through something like this, and I'm trying to figure out if it is good for me or not. I don't think it is right now and I have been having a little bit of a difficult time. But I think it's really important to put yourself in new situations.

I was speaking with this guy I grew up with who does film now and he currently lives where I grew up. He began telling me about all these beautiful locations that he found in the area around our houses. It was just really nice to hear someone speak with such admiration for a place that you aim your whole young life to get the hell out of. I wish I could feel that deeply for Toronto, it's funny how things work out. I like this city though. I mostly just stick around my neighbourhood these days.

There is a lot of fun friends stuff coming up. I'm taking a road trip with EmJoMer, I'm going to the zoo with two old friends that have the world's cutest baby, and I'm going to see one of my best friends fight in a boxing match! And apparently he is really good at it. He is the sweetest guy, it will be weird to see him aggressive.

TEEN COUNSELLA

2010-04-21T02:36:00.008-04:00

I am starting my teen counseling course this week. I will be learning about strategies addressing conflict resolution, substance abuse, eating disorders, destructive behaviors, family-school relations, ethical and legal implications etc. I would like to work with teens that are or have been victims of abuse. Which has not so much to do with my own history, though I'm sure that plays some part, but it is something I have found very challenging and fulfilling in the past and I'd like to explore that more. Anyway, on a lighter note.

I still have my patches I made when I was 15

I want new experiences and new adventures.
I want to be in love my whole life.
I want my mind to always be moving and shifting forward
I want to always be meeting new people in the new places I venture
I hope to open myself up to new ways of living
I hope to offer myself to others as selflessly as I can

I love this performance. It seems like there is something else going on and everyone is very disturbed but they have to play. For their life! Forever!

Perfect Dark Pop
Thanks to Benjamin for suggesting. Spot on recs as always.

Night

De plug

2010-04-16T01:01:00.004-04:00

Making tons of videos lately high school style. Just taught myself last weekend. Catchin up with the times.
Playing piano a lot
In the country briefly
I love this life
Creating something from pain and loss, focus, dreaming
All kinds of love, growing gardens, distance
Waiting for something, I have no idea what
Isolation
1940s
Tiny buttons
I love Verlaine, I can't find a book though?
Owl City in the car makes me happy
I love everlasting friendships

I love real people that care about treating people well , with human dignity, and about living their lives meaningfully and who want to have fun, but in a way that is positive and not destructive, and who don't give a fuck about being fucking cool or liking "uncool" things or hanging out with "uncool" people. Life is short. Don't be a huge asshole.

I have to go now

VERLAINE

2010-04-05T14:33:00.002-04:00

YOU SEE WE NEED...

You see we need to pardon everything.
That’s the way we’ll be happiest,
And if our lives have moments that sting,
At least we’ll weep together and be blessed.

O, sister-souls that we are, could we but blend
A childlike gentleness with vague desires
Travelling far from women and from men,
In the strange forgetfulness of what exiles!

Let’s be two children: let’s be two little girls
In love with nothing, amazed by all life brings,
Pale with fear beneath the leaves’ chaste curls
Not knowing they’ve been forgiven everything.

MUTED

Calmly in the half-light
Tall branches surround,
Let our love be filled by
This silence profound.

Hearts and souls blend there
And senses’ ecstasy,
With the vague languor
Of pine and strawberry.

With eyelids scarce apart,
Arms crossed in dream,
From your slumbering heart
Chase forever every scheme.

Let’s be convinced at last
By the sweet lulling breeze
That makes the russet grass
Wave in ripples at your feet.

And when solemn evening
Falls from black oaks there,
The nightingale will sing,
The voice of our despair.

CIRCUMSPECTION

Give me your hand, still your breath, let’s rest
Under this great tree where the breeze dies
Beneath grey branches, in broken sighs,
That the soft, tender moonlight caresses.

Motionless, and lowering our eyes,
Not thinking, dreaming. Let love that tires
Have its moment, and happiness that expires,
Our hair brushed by the owl as it flies.

Let’s forget to hope. Discreet, content,
So the soul of each of us stays intent
On this calm, this quiet death of the sun.

We rest, silent, in a peaceful nocturne:
It’s wrong to disturb his sleep, this one,
Nature, the god, fierce and taciturn.

FEELINGS ASLEEP IN THE VALLEY

2010-04-03T20:39:00.008-04:00

ASLEEP IN THE VALLEY

A SMALL GREEN VALLEY WHERE A SLOW STREAM RUNS
AND LEAVES LONG STRANDS OF SILVER ON THE BRIGHT
GRASS; FROM THE MOUNTAINTOP STREAM THE SUN'S
RAYS; THEY FILL THE HOLLOW FULL OF LIGHT.

A SOLDIER, VERY YOUNG, LIES OPEN-MOUTHED,
A PILLOW MADE OF FERNS BENEATH HIS HEAD,
ASLEEP; STRETCHED IN THE HEAVY UNDERGROWTH,
PALE IN HIS WARM, GREEN, SUN-SOAKED BED,

HIS FEET AMONG THE FLOWERS, HE SLEEPS. HIS SMILE
IS LIKE AN INFANT'S -- GENTLE, WITHOUT GUILE.
AH, NATURE, KEEP HIM WARM; HE MAY CATCH COLD.

THE HUMMING INSECTS DON'T DISTURB HIS REST;
HE SLEEPS IN SUNLIGHT, ONE HAND ON HIS BREAST,
AT PEACE. IN HIS SIDE THERE ARE TWO RED HOLES.

http://www.forces.ca/html/officertraining_en.aspx

Parents and Their Rulez!

2010-03-31T01:20:00.009-04:00

Well. These are my parents.

My dad served as a forensics detective for 30 years and my mother was a teacher, now a landscape painter. They started dating when they were 15 years old. I look up to them and am grateful to have them.

SOMEONE ELSE'S FLOWERS

2010-03-23T00:07:00.009-04:00

I haven't written in awhile.

Here is what is up in the last little while
- I am working in the Programming/ Youth Education Department at an organization for Canadian design. I have worked there on and off for a couple years as an instructor and am now da boss. Well, Da Assistant Boss. My head honcho is awesome and so good to me. It is the most creative job I have had, integrates art and education, which I am all about, so I am happy because I am doing something quite related to my field. I also give tours and conduct workshops in design for high school kids there.
- I am interviewing and hiring people for the first time in my life beginning of April. Do you want a job? Are you competent and will you do me proud?
- I am really into the army lately
- I am listening to Owl City, Lights, and Taylor Swift lately
- Casablanca... I have it now but have never seen it. I'm waiting for a romantic occasion.
- Been incredibly busy the past couple of weeks. I need rejuvenation, detoxification, exfoliation, facialization, moisturization
- Finally bought Stella McCartney lingerie that I have been in love with forever
- Learning about weapons, guns, planes, and tanks
- I am moving in September... somewhere.
- I am getting up at 6am everyday. I would like to start getting up at 5am. Just like the army.
- Pilates everyday
- Facebook is not a good way to contact me nor is texting: I am not much of a texter or emailer these days in terms of responding. Phone me is best
- Ummm... Oh, I saw Joanna Newsom and I was totally beside myself the whole time. I know she is a little kitschy at times, but whatever. She composes really beautiful melodies and if not that, I love her for her lyrics. Both times now that I have seen her I have been near tears to be honest. Her drummer is cute. That is about it. Or, like, I don't want to talk about music like everyone knows and should know who she is and should like it or else you're a big loser. I like it and you might too that is all and if not that is cool who cares go listen to taylor swift, it's all good.

ratfinkk

When I came into my land
I did not understand
Neither dry rot, nor the burn pile
Nor the bark-beetle, nor the dry well
Nor the black bear

But there is another
Who is a little older
When I broke my bone
He carried me up from the riverside

To spend my life
In spitting-distance
Of the love that I have known
I must stay here, in an endless eventide

And if you come and see me
You will upset the order
You cannot come and see me
For I set myself apart
But when you come and see me
In California
You cross the border of my heart

Well, I have sown untidy furrows
Across my soul
But I am still a coward
Content to see my garden grow
So sweet and full
Of someone else's flowers

Sometimes I can almost feel the power
Sometimes I am so in love with you
Like a little clock that trembles on the edge of the hour
Only ever calling out "Cuckoo, cuckoo"

When I called you
You, little one
In a bad way
Did you love me
Do you spite me
Time will tell if I can be well
And rise to meet you rightly
While, moving across my land
Brandishing themselves
Like a burning branch
Advance the tallow-colored walleyed deer
Quiet as gondoliers
While I wait all night, for you in California
Watching the fox pick off my goldfish
From their sorry, golden state
And I am no longer
Afraid of anything
Save the life that, here, awaits

I don't belong to anyone
My heart is heavy as an oil drum
And I don't want to be alone
My heart is yellow as an ear of corn
And I have torn my soul apart
From pulling artlessly with fool commands
Some nights I just never go to sleep at all
And I stand
Shaking in my doorway like a sentinel
All alone
Bracing like the bow upon a ship
And fully abandoning
Any thought of anywhere
But home, my home
Sometimes I can almost feel the power
And I do love you
Is it only timing that has made it such a dark hour
Only ever chiming out "Cuckoo, cuckoo"

HEART MELT

2010-03-03T23:34:00.000-05:00

J'ATTENDRAI

J'attendrai le jour et la nuit
J'attendrai toujours ton retour
J'attendrai car l'oiseau qui s'enfuit
vient chercher l'oubli dans son nid
Le temps passait court en battant tristement
dans mon coeur si lourd
Et pourtant j'attendrai ton retour
J'attendrai le jour et la nuit
J'attendrai toujours ton retour
J'attendrai car l'oiseau qui s'enfuit
vient chercher l'oubli dans son nid
Le temps passait court en battant tristement
dans mon coeur si lourd
Et pourtant j'attendrai ton retour
Le vent m'apporte de bruits lointains
Guettant ma porte j'écoute en vain
Hélas, plus rien plus rien ne vient
J'attendrai le jour et la nuit
J'attendrai toujours ton retour
J'attendrai car l'oiseau qui s'enfuit
vient chercher l'oubli dans son nid
Le temps passait court en battant tristement
dans mon coeur si lourd
Et pourtant j'attendrai ton retour
Et pourtant j'attendrai ton retour
Le temps passait court en battant tristement
dans mon coeur si lourd
Et pourtant j'attendrai ton retour...

2010-03-03T16:49:00.000-05:00

uhh... what?

GARDE MOI DANS TA POCHE

2010-02-28T11:54:00.005-05:00

This is my favourite song though you can't embed it sorry anyways who cares not me. Best beginning eva
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICMoHEW0UY4

CHOICES AND FEARLESSNESS

2010-02-24T00:48:00.007-05:00

First of all, I swear I'm not on drugs. But I have been thinking a lot lately about the choices I have made, and how these major choices affect my everyday life. It comes right down to the smallest everyday choices from the places I choose to go, who I choose to surround myself with, to what I wear, what I eat, what I say and how I say it. And I think of everyday life as the most crucial and important. I think about how isolated from the world I remain at the age of 25. And how these limiting choices interact with my pursuit for individuality, social acceptance, and various subcultural interests. I do not want my choices to be affected too much by the people I surround myself with or the places that I choose to stay, because then life can become stagnant and fearful. Why are we sometimes fearful or care about what others think of us? How far do we take ourselves until we get to this point, and could we pinpoint the limit so that we could work on moving past it? Do we want to move past it and if so to what extent?

I have met some new people recently (relatively speaking) that have opened me up to new worlds that I normally would have no exposure. It's a hearty benefit to living in Toronto, but it happens to me so much more often in other places, a small town or village. I crave to know people and experience the positive effects we can all have, or choose to have, on each other. I am rambling here, and I'm a horrible writer anyway, but there is something very transcendental about meeting someone new that you can really connect with. I live for that. "I am so happy to know you." Think about that phrase and who it applies to in your life. Someone who can change your entire outlook on life or your past or just make life more positive in general. This is true for friends, for lovers, for acquaintances, for someone you speak with on the bus. Tell them. The opening and discovery and exploration of new worlds, ideas, faces, outlooks. I crave for new experience and new opportunities with which I can explore and overcome emotional and physical limits.

I was standing on the sidewalk, had a noise in my head.
There were loudspeakers babbling, but nothing was said.
There were twenty-seven companies of female Marines.
There were presidential candidates in new Levis jeans.
It was the red, white and blue planning how to endure.
The fife, drum and bugle marching down on the poor.
God bless America, without any doubt.
And I figured it was time to get out.

Well I have to b'lieve that in between scenes, good people.
Went and got em done in the sun, good people.
Tourist information said to get on the stick.
You ain't moving 'til you're grooving with a Cubana chick.
So I hopped on a plane, I took a pill for my brain,
and I discovered I was feeling all right.
When I strolled down the Prado, people looked at me weird.
Who's that hippy, hoppy character without any beard?
Drinking juice from papayas, singing songs to the trees.
Dancing mambo on the beaches, spreading social disease.

Now the Castro convertible was changing the style,
a whole lot of action on a blockaded isle.
When along come a summons in the middle of night,
saying, "Buddy, we're about to indict."
When I went up on the stand with my hand, good people.
You've got to tell the truth in the booth, good people.
I started out with information kind of remote.
When a patriotic mother dragged me down by the throat.
"If they ask you a question, they expect a reply!"
Doesn't matter if you're fixin' to die.

Well I was lying there unconscious feeling kind of exempt.
When the judge said that silence was a sign of contempt.
He took out his gavel, banged me hard on the head.
He fined me ten years in prison, and a whole lot of bread.
It was the red, white and blue making war on the poor.
Blind mother justice, on a pile of manure.
Say your prayers and the Pledge of Allegiance every night.
And tomorrow, you'll be feeling all right.

DEAR JOHN... LOL

2010-02-20T21:43:00.009-05:00

YEAH, I made someone go see Dear John with me. Whatever you film geeks. Despite the pretty bad acting and bad script I kind of liked it!! I don't even care. I liked it. I liked Dear John.
I love the romantic letter-writing bits, I guess all of the love scenes, I am a total sucker for that stuff. Everything after that goes really downhill.
I wish they casted different people (non-robots maybe) and that someone else wrote it, it would maybe be decent.
And you gotta love army muscles. Boy you can say that again. Here's an extended version of the trailer- Now you can come to my webpAgE at your convenience and watch it multiple times.

RAVEL

2010-02-20T00:00:00.001-05:00

Um... this took me away for a moment. Wow. I think at the end.

STUFF N SHIT

2010-02-19T19:01:00.004-05:00

flashbacks from teenagehood
i love this song so much!!!!!!!!! this album is amazing, sounds especially amazing on tape cassette.

i haven't written in this awhile. here are some of my recent interests

rimbaud!
pablo neruda!
lots of poetry in general!
tracy emin (i am reading her autobiography right now, Strangeland)!
red wine!
metallica!
judee sill!
francoise hardy!
serge gainsbourg!
a whole wheat english muffin with a poached egg!
camomile tea!
mayakovsky!
pictures of flowers!
john singer sargent!
nature sounds of campfires!
murder, she wrote!
silk shirts!
more skirts!
not the olympics!

also,
i am thinking a lot lately about going to the american south. particularly tennessee, louisiana, and mississippi. i really LOVE american history and the united states in general. i think i've decided to experience these crevices of the world before i decide to venture 'cross any oceans.

Pablo Neruda

2010-02-11T17:19:00.004-05:00

Every day you play with the light of the universe.
Subtle visitor, you arrive in the flower and the water.
You are more than this white head that I hold tightly
as a cluster of fruit, every day, between my hands.

You are like nobody since I love you.
Let me spread you out among yellow garlands.
Who writes your name in letters of smoke among the stars of the south?
Oh let me remember you as you were before you existed.

Suddenly the wind howls and bangs at my shut window.
The sky is a net crammed with shadowy fish.
Here all the winds let go sooner or later, all of them.
The rain takes off her clothes.

The birds go by, fleeing.
The wind. The wind.
I can contend only against the power of men.
The storm whirls dark leaves
and turns loose all the boats that were moored last night to the sky.

You are here. Oh, you do not run away.
You will answer me to the last cry.
Cling to me as though you were frightened.
Even so, at one time a strange shadow ran through your eyes.

Now, now too, little one, you bring me honeysuckle,
and even your breasts smell of it.
While the sad wind goes slaughtering butterflies
I love you, and my happiness bites the plum of your mouth.

How you must have suffered getting accustomed to me,
my savage, solitary soul, my name that sends them all running.
So many times we have seen the morning star burn, kissing our eyes,
and over our heads the gray light unwind in turning fans.

My words rained over you, stroking you.
A long time I have loved the sunned mother-of-pearl of your body.
I go so far as to think that you own the universe.
I will bring you happy flowers from the mountains, bluebells,
dark hazels, and rustic baskets of kisses.

I want
to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.

2010-02-10T15:53:00.000-05:00

beep

2010-02-02T23:54:00.004-05:00

NEVER BEEN GOOD AT SHAKIN HANDS

2010-02-01T00:08:00.000-05:00

An old friend has been staying here for a couples days and it's been extra nice. Last night turned out to be a big listening party full of drinks n winks and needless to say, it's been hangover 2010 today.

So during my procrastination of prep work, I have been watching some old movies and got a little interested in Marilyn Monroe. I had never seen Marilyn Monroe actually in moving-form until just now in Some Like it Hot. I love her character and her wardrobe in that movie. See-through dresses ain't bad. Reading about some of the tumultuous relationships had me thinking about the idea of marriage. I consider marriage to be a serious, forever kind of thing and I typically think about that stuff with such romanticism and dreaminess. I wonder sometimes though, could I ever really seriously dedicate myself forever to one human being? It is a really nice, exciting idea in my opinion. But I like this whole idea of long term partnerships, even later in life. Best Friend Lover Forev-ships. I'd be cool with being someone's BFLF, but I mean, you know.

I had a nice conversation with Benjamin recently and began thinking about how thankful I am for all of my past relationships. I have had a very fulfilling and intense love life so far, I guess that's my own opinion. I just wonder sometimes if these people realize how much I appreciate them and value/valued our relationship. You just can't really express that sort of thing. I have to try to be as loving, open, and forgiving as I can everyday. It is something you have to choose. I don't really know how to express any of this into words but this convoluted entry will have to suffice. I suppose it has been on my mind for a long time.

CUTE WEIRD DUMB FUNNY

2010-01-31T12:51:00.008-05:00

pretty cute
disappointed with this video at first but a few things make up for it:
good song
extremely obvious moral messages
new hand-dance moves to incorporate in your dance routine
and... Julian Casablancas.

Just listened to the whole album and it is soo good. Who would've thought!

PUNKRUSH V. 5

2010-01-23T19:42:00.016-05:00

“Step outside the guidelines of the official umpires and make your own rules and your own reality.”

I remember hearing Phil Och's songs just after getting into politics and punk music and loved him. I learned about him through my old History/Philosophy/Politics high school teacher who was one of the few adult figures in my life who encouraged my interests in political resistance and social movements.
PHil was very troubled and suffered from alcoholism. He hanged himself in 1976. It is really sad. He was so alluring, passionate, and genuine.

SEA DAWG

2010-01-21T14:41:00.006-05:00

I LOVE THESE MATCHES

You can buy them at Canadian Tire in a pack of four. I'm a candle grrrl. Jen stopped by and I gave her one, she is also in love them.
And do you like my new glasses? Just kidding, I totally stole that photo. I don't know where it is from but who cares? This is blogspot, not the fuckin harvard photography institute.

PS So obsessed with Jersey Shore. Jeusey Shoa. I love Jwow's sliced shirts. She'll wear a shirt with horizontal cuts at the boobs so it looks like they are so huge that they just ripped the top half of her shirt. THANK YOU

SHOPPAS

2010-01-18T19:28:00.003-05:00

My sister and I went shopping. Looking for some interview outfits! Oh yeahhhh good excuse to buy nice clothes and shoes. Bye!

HOLLY-MOLLY

2010-01-15T19:22:00.013-05:00

TEEN PREGNANCY

2010-01-14T00:04:00.005-05:00

I'm sick.
I just watched this tv episode of "16 and pregnant" and bawled my freaking eyes out.
I totally feel for these two kids.
Catelynn and Tyler

I've been so emotional lately, I'm not sure why! My eyes are all puffy and my nose is red. Thank you aloe vera infused tissues.